Perfect little angels you say? Most of the time yes, but sometimes- I beg to differ!
February 1, 2009
FRUSTRATIONS!!!!
Hello all- Let me tell you about some of my frustrations. I know that most everyone has these same ones, but I am about to pull my hair out! My boys are SO loud! And not just any old time- during sacrament meeting! I don't know what to do. I had to bring the kids home after sacrament meeting because they both sound like walruses with their barking coughs, but they were seriously SO bad during sacrament meeting! It is so hard for Cole and I because we want to listen so bad, but we can't seem to reign in our children! So we just end the meeting more frustrated than uplifted by what we needed to learn during the wonderful fast and testimony meeting. So- all of you guys who have perfect children during sacrament meeting (particularly a 3 year old) PLEASE feel free to chime in any time and let me know what to do! I love my kids more than anything, but I also love church and really would like to pay attention! It doesn't help at all that Lincoln hasn't been to nursery for 2 weeks now because he is sick! What's a mother to do.
Perfect little angels you say? Most of the time yes, but sometimes- I beg to differ!
Perfect little angels you say? Most of the time yes, but sometimes- I beg to differ!
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The main suggestion I have is to just HANG IN THERE! I don't know of anyone with children that has not gone through at least one phase where we look at each other and say "is this worth it?? Why do we even come??? All I can say is that you just gotta stick it out, even though you don't think you OR the children are getting anything out of church. If you stay home because it's easier (and let's face it, VERY TEMPTING at this phase), then that sort of reinforces for the child subliminally that if I throw a big enough stink in church, we won't have to go, and we can stay home and play. So.. all you can really do is just keep trying to make sacrament meeting as pleasant as possible for them (we are not above diversions and bribery :), and just know that it won't last forever.... Not much consolation, I know, but it's about all I got. Oh, and pray mightily every Sunday morning for the strength and patience to make it through, and to get even a little something out of the meetings! Love you honey! Hang in there!
You could also try some sort of reward system... like have a bag of their favorite treat, and if they are sitting quietly, you lean over and say "way to go, buddy, you are sitting so reverently" and give him a treat. (Have other snacks if they need them, but only give them the "special" treat when they are sitting reverently (or for just being quiet.. start at whatever level you need to). That's just a thought that occurred to me... it might work!
Ms. Mindy, you don't sweat it. No one thinks any less of you or your boys. All kids go through loud spells at church.
It's so a stage & I think EVERY parent goes through it. We're going through it ourselves with Britton - we attended a funeral this weekend & during a video slideshow he was yelling "Baby" whenever he saw a baby in one of the pictures, and a few other things. A few people were chuckling but oh we were so mortified. It's the same during church. I'm not going to lie, it's hard and it's so frustrating (and kinda embarrasing) as the parent of the "loud one" in church but I'm sure everyone else in your ward has been there and understands (as they think to themselves just how greatful they are to be out of that stage). Your boys are super cute & someday they'll figure out that church isn't a place to be loud - and until then well. . . hang in there (and remember lots of other parents are right there with you).
Uh, a three year old sitting still? No way! Of course, we've tried a lot, but ours are still a little crazy. Here is what I did with Elia and for a while it worked really well. I took a post-it note, drew three smiley faces. If I had to get after her, I would remind her, then the next time, I would cross off a smiley face. If all three got crossed off, she didn't get the hershey kiss or other small treat that I had brought. I stuck it to the pew right in front of her so it was a visual reminder. THe first time I crossed a smiley out, she was so upset I had to take her out because she was crying that she had lost a smiley face, but after we came back in, her behavior improved a lot. Good luck! Cheerios also help to pass the time. We've tried those file folders and having lots of books and then a small bag full of "surprise toys" -- small little toys that they didn't know were going to be in there. If all else fails though, know "this too shall pass" :)
Ohhh I'm right there with you! My boys are crazy in church too... Mike and I every Sunday after church are so exhausted from trying to deal with Bridger our 2 year old. I guess I know now I'm not the only one with this problem!
Yikes, so I was so behind on your posts. So really I don't think your kids are that bad during Sacrament meeting. I was sitting on the same aisle as you and did not notice them being loud. Maybe your expectations are too high. No one minds a little cry from a bonked head or a squeal for a snack (or if they do mind they need to get over it.) So also about the cutest Preschool post - I love you for taking that on. Cal is seriously LOVING it and is learning so much. You are the best.
We are so there with you right now! Here's what we do: sit in the very back and let Hudson wander the gym. He's quiet(ish) with his cars, we listen and ignore any judgemental looks. I know we are making bad habits, but seriously, I'll teach him when he can listen. good luck! Also, your kids will definitely learn this, people really don't care what you do when you are adorable!
Yes, right there with ya! I was ready to... well lets just say our sacrament meeting wasn't good this Sunday either.
It's really just one of those things you have to wait out and then slowly you'll realize you had a week that wasn't so bad. But it probably won't happen as long as anyone is 3 :)
Hang in there and remember that Michael McClean song-
"You're nooooooot aloooooone..."
Oh man those are two cute naughty little boys! How stinking cute are their bowties? Pretty much I learned how to race cars and do puzzles during church! Good luck I spend half the time in the hall, so I am sure you don't want my advise! You best be calling me when your in Utah. We are coming to CO over presidents day, we should all hang.
Oh Mindy, I'm with Lindsay in this one. I really don't think that they're loud. Sorry you're so frustrated, that's not a fun feeling. Hang in there, you're a wonderful mom!!!
Mindy, I agree with M Helsten, you just have to stick it out. I had to deal with two boys by myself and there were many tempting Sundays I just wanted to leave. I had to tell myself that I am there at this stage mostly to let them know how important church is and I had to find other ways to get my spiritual needs met. I am for using treats, toys, etc. I tied to ignore looks from others, and had to say 'I am doing the best I can." As they got just a little older I held off treats and toys until after the Sacrament, soon after that I realized I could actually pay attention in church again. Reality is that others are not really paying that much attention to you and unless it is a major tantrum they probably don't notice much. Keep at it!
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